You'll shoot your eye out! (a.k.a. "let me into the Spartan Ultra Beast!)

So here's the thing: I want to run the Spartan Ultra Beast.

26.2(ish) miles of 50 (ish) Spartan race obstacles.  That's potential for like, 1500 burpees (in a Spartan race, they tend to dole out 15-30 burpees as punishment per each failed obstacle).   One (yes, 1 single) aid station will be on course with water and/or sports drinks at an undisclosed location on the course (according to the website)

Mud, hills, fire, barbed wire, scaling walls, and certainly carrying something heavy and awkward (sandbags? logs? boulders? tires? small squirming children?), along with plenty of other ridiculous obstacles plus a marathon. In the woods.

And I want in. Really, really bad. In an obsessive "Ralphie wants a Red Ryder BB Gun" sort of way.

(You'll shoot your eye out!)

There is not one specific reason why I've now decided that this is my "A" race for the year, my single, specific focus of training this summer (assuming I get in). The exercise/endurance sadistic part of me thinks the Ultra Beast looks....fun.   Every time I describe the race and how anxious I am to hear back from the Spartan HQ (do we refer to that as Sparta?) the look on others faces is priceless.  You know the one, the "come again, you want to do what now?" look, combined with the "I should back away slowly for I am not sure you are completely sane" eyes.  But I live for these kinds of challenges.

And another part of me...the part that has been to hell and back over the last year, wants to remind the part that at one point was so broken it just wanted to simply give up, that we (meaning, me) are so much stronger than we think.

So my Spartan friends, here are ten  reasons why you should let me into the Ultra Beast (since you made me limit it to 3 sentences on the application, and frankly, as anyone who knows me can attest, I have a lot to say. A lot.)

1)  I am not afraid of a challenge. ANY challenge, no matter how difficult and/or gross.  Just the other day I pulled a power ranger lego character's head out of a 3 year old's nostril.  Those of you who are scoffing right now thinking "pshh that's not a feat of endurance or strength" have clearly never attempted to pull a power ranger lego characters head out of a 3 year old's nostril.

2) Obstacle course/mud runs do this to me, and I still come back for more:

That's sexy. Or a 2nd degree anterior talofibular ligament tear. Take your pick. I prefer sexy.

3) Every time I see that post going around facebook about how no one "likes" burpees, I think to myself...but I really do like burpees. (I really do!)

4) I work out for a living.  As a personal trainer, wellness coach, group exercise instructor, and ASCM certified health fitness specialist, I'm constantly moving and training.  Six, sometimes seven days a week, the gym is my home away from home.  And that doesn't include my personal workouts (CrossFit, distance running, trails, etc).    Every day I strive to become fitter, faster, better, stronger. And honestly, I simply can not sit still.  PLUS..I dole out burpees to others on a daily basis. See? We have TONS in common!

5) I like to run. A lot.  One time, I ran a marathon, then a half marathon, then a trail marathon, all in the span of 2 weeks, just because I could.  I wear my marathon maniac title proudly (#3572!).  My 50 mile ultra in August will make a perfect training run for the Ultra Beast.

6) My running partner in crime Hope and I are some of the original "Spartan Chicks."  Long before there was official Spartan-Chicked gear, we made our own. Go ahead and ask Shawty Spartan/Carrie Adams about the bedazzler ;)  And I remember when the now 4,000+ strong facebook group only had a handful of us.  

The lovely SportyMomme, and yes we did get many compliments from guys as we "chicked" them on the course

Who's your Spartan? 2011 Carolina Super Spartan finish line

 7)  Let's get personal for a second (hey, I've never denied the fact that I'm an over-sharer): you want mental toughness?  Nothing you can dish out can compare to what I've been through this past year.  I'm a single mom and went through quite the sh*t storm that put me here. I've been torn down. I've hit rock bottom.  But like Kelly Clarkson and Kanye West say (and Friedrich Nietzsche, I suppose, if pop music isn't your thing)  "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger".   Day by day my phoenix wings are spreading as I slowly pick my way up out of the ashes, and every day I'm stronger than the one before.  Further, I now play zone defense on a 3 and 5 year old boys and thus, also have an awesome ability to foresee future dangers, disasters, and (typically very messy) obstacles, plan accordingly, and then tackle them like a boss.  (I'm also really good at refereeing wrestling matches, for what it's worth)

8) These days, I call New Hampshire home. As spring slowly works it's way into summer, I'm eating UP the beautiful outdoors in this state.  Mountains, trails, hills, I can't get enough of them. Can you think of a better place to train for the ultra beast?   OK I'm sure there's a few, but it beats the heck out of suburban Myrtle Beach where I just came from. Running on the beach can only get you so far...let's run up Mt. Monadnock instead.

9)

10)  I love you. I honestly love you.  *wink wink*. Let me in.

(Run Faster Mommy friends and fans, feel free to tweet the good people at the Spartan Race or harass them on facebook, and let them know that they should let me into the Ultra Beast!  You all rock!  And...anyone else in for the Beast or ultra Beast?)