"The Craziest Frickin' Day of Your Life"

If you're gonna go down, go down in a blaze of glory, that's what I always say.

Though I'm not sure I ever meant blaze literally...but now I'm getting a head of myself.

Thursday night, Rich and I left Myrtle Beach and headed up and over to Clayton Georgia for the South-East Warrior Dash. 8 hours later, including 2 one hour long detours (thanks map quest, for missing huge stretches of closed interstate) we arrived. And proceeded to eat Mexican food. (That's Rich's "I'm not sure I want to be eating Mexican food the night before my very first race, but Heather really wanted some so I caved in" look. haha)

If you are going to run like a warrior, you must eat like one. And that means tossing fear of gastro-intestinal distress aside. Bring on the enchiladas and margaritas! Needless to say, we had a much deserved, kid free, good night. Fortunately our race wasn't until 2:30 pm the next day, as those margarita's probably wouldn't have felt so hot for a 5:30 am wake up call, haha.

The next day, I paced around like I always do before a race, while Rich kept telling me to chill out. He was busy painting his face to his best representation of "the Ultimate Warrior", which really had nothing to do with this race, but instead a 1990's pro wrestler. Much to my surprise, later hat day many people (mostly old men) actually recognized his "costume". Clearly I missed out on the whole WWF scene. huh.

Anyway we were lucky enough to score a hotel room a half a mile from the parking/transportation to the race, so we walked over to the shuttles. Saved us $10 in parking and reduced our ecological footprint by about a minute. Plus, the looks from passer's by were priceless. An older couple actually pulled up and asked what was going on (there were signs up and down the road about warrior dash parking). The lady said "are the warriors the local softball team?" hahaha. It was cute.

We jumped on a bus with Sponge Bob Square Pants, a cop from Reno 911 (short shorts and all) and a bunch of other crazy dressed runners ready to get muddy.

We arrived at the Blue Ridge Campground, and walked up a loooong hill.

There were a few hidden, old trailers (i.e. smaller than mobile homes) off of the side of the road...one complete with a big sign that said "Keep running...I hear banjo music". I didn't realize the significance of this message until a little later when the announcer said that the movie "Deliverance" was filmed just a few miles away. At least the locals have a sense of humor (hopefully it was a joke?)

After handing in our waivers (which had to be initialed like 15 separate times, then you sign your life away, promising not to sue over loss of limb or life) we picked up our packets which included an "are you a warrior?" t-shirt,race bib, a warrior dash souvenir timing chip (probably in their best interest to not worry about collecting those suckers at the finish line), and a fuzzy viking hat. We got ourselves settled in, chipped, bibed, and then checked our bags.

And then we waited.

Not being sure how long the bus ride, check in, bag check in, etc, would be, we got there waaaay early. We killed time for a few hours, but I was an anxious mess. Not nervous for the race, but just EXCITED. I just wanted to get out there on the course. It didn't help that the only "free" beverage was Monster energy drink. (no, not even water was free...so those of you running warrior dash later this year...BRING CASH!) So add a ton of caffeine to my already anxious state, and I couldn't be contained.

After we watched the 1:30 wave leave, I noticed that there was NO ONE regulating who hopped into the corral. It as pretty much a free-for-all, so I told Rich we were going to "sneak" into the 2:00 wave (we were signed up for the 2:30 wave). I couldn't wait any longer. And technically, there was no sneaking, because like I said, I really don't think anyone cared. We hung out with the 2:00 runners for what seemed like FOREVER. 30 minutes is a loooong time when you are ready to run!

FINALLY, it was go time. Instead of a start gun, there was fire. Of course, fire. I was shocked at how HOT those blow torches were when we ran underneath them!

I had no goal other than to HAVE FUN and stick by Rich's side and get him through this race (though he didn't really need me! He did great!) Clearly I didn't wear a garmin, but the first, oh, felt like a mile was just straight running (no obstacles). Mostly on a paved trail (up and down that first hill we walked up to get to the start). I did , however, run with one of those water-proof disposable cameras to document the chaos up close, haha. So, most pictures are of Rich, since I had the camera. And it was his first EVER race (of any kind) so I figured it was only appropriate to capture it on film!

We ran a few corners , around a few bends, and came to obstacle number one: walking on some wooden planks through a puddle. I spent a good deal of my childhood pretending I was a figure skater, complete with my interpretation of triple axles and such in my socks on the kitchen floor, so walking across a wooden plank was not a problem for me.

Obstacle #2....trekking through a pond. It was at this point that I realized "Oh crap, this race is going to be a lot harder than I ever imagined". Trying to "walk" through chest deep water while trying to pull your legs out of knee deep water is a serious cardio workout. Not to mention I couldn't stop giggling because I kept falling sideways, and I swore I lost my shoe about 4 separate times.

Obstacle #3...immediately upon leaving the water you had to hop through a ton of tires, total "high knees military boot camp" style. I remember focusing so hard, I wanted to get through there fast but not bust my butt. The holes of the tires were mostly full of mud, making the landings that much more brutal

Obstacle #4...as soon as you finished the tires, there were three walls to heave yourself over. Watching this obstacle BEFORE my heat, Rich and I were wondering why people looked so sluggish going over the walls. Don't' they know they could get over so much faster if they would just hop instead of crawl? HAHAHAHAHA. Now, on the other side of the fence, those chest high walls looked like 3-story buildings.
After the walls there was a good bit of running, some pavement, some trail, all dirty.

Obstacle #5-this wall. Not hard to scale at all.

A little more running around in the woods, then we came up to Obstacle #6: cargo net climb. This one took a little more effort. Climbing the net isn't hard...it's the standing at the top and figuring out how you are going to turn yourself around and climb back down the other side that takes a little thought

Obstacle #6 Junkyard Jam! A series of about 6 junk cars just thrown in your path. And when i say junk, I mean it. Some cars As I approached this pile of metal, I said out loud "Hope your tetanus shots are up to date!" I think I went over one car's hood, another car's trunk, and through the back of a pickup truck bed.


Then we were off into the woods. I have an all new respect for you trail runners. That stuff is HARD. I lost footing and turned each ankle at least once...followed by an "I'm good!" as soon as I regained my balance. Hills, mud, rocks, roots, ducking below trees...you can't just "zone out" and run like you can doing mindless hamster -wheel laps around my suburban cul-de-sacs. This took concentration , focus, and balance, and it was FUN! I need to move back to the forest...

Obstacle #7 , long drainage tunnels. Pretty self explanatory

More running through the woods. At one point, the trail was so narrow that it was single file only. You couldn't pass someone if you wanted to, the woods were so thick. And someone, about 25 people ahead, as walking. Thus, everyone else was forced to walk. I won't lie...I sort of welcomed the walk, especially since this was all uphill, haha.

Finally we came out of the woods, around a corner, to a giant mudslide right into the mud pit. There was a volunteer standing at the top of the hill with a water hose to assure that the slide stayed nice and slippery. I thought about going down headfirst, until I realized the shorts I had on might not be reliable to stay in place on a head first slide. Didn't matter anyways, because as soon as I stood at the top of the hill my feet flew out in front of me and I landed on my butt. Down the hill I went! I stood up at the bottom and jumped right into the mud pit. this is the highlight of any mud run. Complete with barbed wire above the pit so you were forced to army-crawl. I really was not expecting the actual consistency of the mud. I don't know what I was expecting, muddy water maybe? No, this was like thick mud pudding. It was actually really hard to go through! Do you swim? Crawl? I think I did a combination of both, and probably looked ridiculous (who didn't!). Of course, I laughed the whole way. I searched high and low for pictures of Rich or I in the mud pit, but I can't find any. So this picture, of complete strangers, will have to do.

I ran ahead of Rich to the next pond and quickly cleaned off the disposable camera to get a shot of him covered in mud. I swear his head isn't this long, he claims he looks like "Beavis" (or is it "Butthead"?) and would freak if he knew I put this on my blog for the whole world to see.

After the mud pit, we ran just a few hundred feet to pond # 2 for obstacle # 8. Not just floating logs, but floating logs that will roll you backwards if you or one of the other people fighting to get over this thing don't get enough forward momentum. I managed to do both,haha. But it was a good place to scrub (some) of the mud off, so I just dove headfirst over the top of the logs.

A mini wall climb out of the pond and we were on to the most epic (looking) and final obstacle of the course. The "warrior roast". Two fire pits with no way around but over. And they were no joke....by the time I got to them the flames were hovering about thigh high, but earlier they seemed waist high. Fortunately coming straight out of a pond and being soaking wet will get you over those suckers without even feeling the heat.

But you know what the pond won't help you out with?

The stray dura-flame log that rolled out of the fire pit, just waiting for me to land on.

Wish I could have seen that from the other side of the pit, before I jumped. All I knew at the time was that the second my foot hit the ground (or really, he log), my whole body followed it to the ground. I went down without even knowing what happened. I stood back up, and that's when the pain hit and I fell back down again. My ankle wouldn't bear any weight. I heard the announcer yell something like "get off the ground, battle axe!" Being just yards from the finish line, I hopped up and , well, hopped to the finish line. It hurt, so I crossed the finish line, and I sat down. Somehow, I still finished the 3.22 mile obstacle course in 31:xx. It wasn't until I saw the pictures (which, fyi, brightroom will be getting money out of me for sure, this shot needs to be like 8x10" and hung on the wall, haha) that I realized what actually happened. I'm positive one of those many boxes I initialed warned me of possible stray logs causing injury. Ah well.

Then I started laughing. This is totally my luck, to fall practically at the finish line.

A volunteer came up to me and asked if I was ok. I told her I didn't know, and that maybe I should just sit for a second. She pulled her radio off of her belt and called medical. I looked down and noticed my knee had started gushing blood. A girl standing at the finish handed me a cup of water and her boyfriend asked if he could carry me somewhere. Don't you just love runners? Such a friendly bunch! The volunteer lady was sort of hovering and told me to stay still. It was at that point I noticed my ankle was quickly swelling to a size I've never seen before.

So they shipped me off to the medical tent by way of golf cart. When I got there, the first lady proceeded to pick gravel out of my knee cap with a tounge depresser and a ton of hydrogen peroxide. It was pretty gross, but I kept telling myself "oh come on, Heahter, you've birthed two babies, picking some stones out of your skin is really not that big of a deal" in a classic suck-it-up-buttercup moment. Next, they pulled off my shoe and began feeling around. I was super proud of myself for remembering the anterior drawer test from my injury management class, but I wasn't so thrilled that I failed the test. The medic told me I tore my anterior talofibular ligament, and wrapped my ankle with a huge bag of ice.

I sat. I waited. I watched others come and go. sprained ankles, heat stroke, dehydration,lots of cuts. And through it all, I sat. Eventually, they told me they were going to golf-cart me down that big hill to the shuttle so I could make my way back home. By this point, my ankle was looking pretty sweet...

Rich and I hobbled back to our hotel, where I proceeded to dump about a half gallon of dirt all over the bathroom floor when I took my clothes off, haha.

It wasn't until after the 6 hour drive home that I realized the possible severity of my injury....because I couldn't get out of the car! Rich and his mom had to carry me into my bedroom. A follow up with a local doctor confirmed nothing was broken (I figured that). I was given an air cast, crutches, and told to stay off of my foot for a while.

Which means....NO Vermont City Marathon (relay) this weekend. NO first week (or second, maybe even third week) of Chicago marathon training.

The good news is, now I can walk around, normally, without the brace. The bad news is, it's still kinda sore.

It's going to be a long road from here on out, but darn it, I'm running Chicago (besides, they have a no refund, no defferment policy. I'm running.)

And while I sit here, almost a week later, totally bummed about being a cheerleader this weekend instead of a runner, my knee STILL oozing (gross, I know), and with a bum ankle....I still can't help but think that was TOTALLY worth it. It may not have been he craziest frickin DAY of my life (like the website claims) but it was without a doubt the craziest frickin' race of my life.

And I can't wait to do it again. See you next year Warrior Dash...