I'm not going to lie to you

(click on the top left corner to turn the music off it drives you crazy, haha. )

While there are still a few weeks left in this month, it seems to be that time of year where everyone is looking back at the past year, and making goals for the next one. Oddly enough, my 2009 goals/resolution list disappeared with my myspace account. And I honestly don't remember what was on there. I'm pretty sure I remember "go back to school" being on there, and since I'm currently pulling my hair out over final exams, you can rest assured that goal received a big fat check on the (no longer existent) list. So i can't write a blog checking off the list, analyzing how things went, etc.

But I can tell you I had a great year, with many amazing experiences. I learned a lot through trial and error amidst the wonderful chaos that occurs on a daily basis in my life. One of the most important things I learned this past year is that while having goals is great, and pushing yourself to be the best you can be is admirable, one has to know when enough is enough. Know when to evaluate your priorities and not beat yourself up over what was or was not achieved. To appreciate what you DO have, and what you DID accomplish.

I started writing this post, thinking about how sensible I would be in making my goals for 2010. I was going to be a grown up, using my newly acquired motherly sensibility and rationale. Then while taking a little break to cook (i.e, thaw in the toaster) a breakfast waffle for Rowen, it hit me. Who the heck do I think I'm kidding? I laughed out loud at the toaster. The girl, who is currently scheming with her CM running mom friends the best weekend to achieve our Marathon Maniac status with back to back marathons, is going to lie to her loyal blog readers and tell them she was going to sit back and take it easy in 2010.

Let's face it, a large majority of us are crazy. Many non runners would argue that anyone who toes the starting line of a 26.2 mile race is not sane to begin with. I am absolutely no exception. So I am not going to to sit here and tell you I don't have a million and one goals in the back of my mind for 2010. Because I do. And most of them, are a bit crazy. I've accepted the fact that I have no rational thinking behind my racing goals, and I'm OK with it. I can see my sister, mom, and a few of my really smart (and amazing) running friends shaking their head. I can also see the rest of you crazies laughing, because you know exactly what I'm talking about.

But back to what I started to say before the toaster waffle revelation...2009 was a rough year in running for me. I set some huge goals, namely thinking a brand new runner such as myself with one year of racing, followed by one year off for pregnancy, could hop right back on the running wagon and run a BQ time....all while taking care of the babies, working and going back to school full time. Life with two babies was much more overwhelming than I had imagined it would be. Going back to school with two babies was much more overwhelming than it was with just one kid. The training I had hoped and meant to put in didn't exactly happen. I was miserably let down at every big race I ran, due to awesome GI issues, and the aforementioned lack of training. It was disappointing.

Yet at the same time, it was an amazing year in running for me. There were a handful of local age group placings, and even an overall top 3 win. There were a few perfect, solo, long runs that reminded me why I love to run. There were fun mini-running vacations with great friends and family. I was even given the amazing opportunity to pace someone in their longest race ever. Running led me to join Team FIGHT. Running made me start this blog, which has led to some pretty incredible opportunities. So while I didn't qualify for Boston (or even come close) , I didn't log the miles I had hoped for (or come even close) and I didn't set a single P.R. in 2009...I still ran. And that's what's most important really. I didn't give up.

So all of that said, while I may have some great racing goals for 2010, I PROMISE myself to take them all in stride. Everyone's situation is different, and this is mine: I have a very new, young family to take care of. And a bachelors degree to finish up. On top of that obnoxious thing called work (darn bills won't pay themselves). But, while those are my priorities, I refuse to put my passion on the back burner if I don't have to. As long as I don't allow that passion to burn me out or take away from my priorities, we are all good. And THAT is my true resolution for 2010!