motherhood intervened & fading Boston dreams

or "how my boobs ruined my National Running Day".

This one includes some of the "joys" of motherhood, so those with weak stomachs may want to turn and run. Run far, far away (and run a few miles for me while you are at it, as you can see I haven't done so in a few days).

Just when I *thought* I was finally getting better, I woke up yesterday with a fever, chills, body aches, the whole nine yards. Here we go again. I spent the first few hours of work trying my darndest not to pass out, I was so dizzy. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, until the breast pain hit. (For those of you not in the know, I'm currently breastfeeding my almost 8 month old son.) The pain was all to familiar, as I was a repeat offender for mastitis (an infection of the breast tissue/milk ducts...I told you this wasn't for the weak stomached) while nursing my first son. It's just another case of "what I wouldn't do for my babies" because let me tell you, mastitis *IS* in fact as horrible as it sounds.

I managed to get out of work early and be seen by the doctor, only to receive the diagnosis I already knew was coming: mastitis. Prescription: antibiotics and REST! Thankfully , Rich was home last night, so I was able to get in a lot of extra sleep. Oddly enough, I still woke up every four hours on the dot. After almost 3 years of this I think my body is programed to only sleep in 3-4 hour increments.

Today, while feeling much better, I'm still plagued with the chills, body aches, and exhaustion. While I love to push myself, believe it or not, I DO know when enough is enough, so today, I skipped National Running day. Boooo! But I have to give these white blood cells a chance to work their magic with the antibiotics and kick this infections butt.

I'm not going to lie, as the days tick by I'm getting more and more nervous for my upcoming training. The plan is to follow the F.I.R.S.T 3:40 marathon plan. The program consists of three days of running (one day speed work, one day tempo run, one day long run) and two to three days of cross training. Week one of the plan looks like this:

speed work: 10-20 min warm up/ 3x1600 @ 7:02 / 10 min cool down
tempo: 2 miles easy/2 miles @ 7:35/2 miles easy
long run: 13 miles @ 8:53 mile

While I know I'm capable of those speeds, I'm starting to wonder what the heck I was thinking trying to tackle this plan NOW. My long run is currently FAR from 13 miles. Far from it. The last 14 weeks , from the day I decided to do this plan, have slipped away from me. I had planned to build up my base mileage, but there were weddings, the perpetual cold, work, sleepless nights, you get the idea. And while I've managed to nail down "mom time" for my long runs, and tempo runs could possibly be done with the jog stroller (although it may royally suck), when on EARTH do I think I have the time for speed work? Rich and I work opposite shifts, most days we only see each other for mere minutes before I leave for work, and that's it, until the next day. When there was just one kid, it was easier to pawn him off on someone for an hour so I could work out. Two kids? Well now that's called babysitting, and is much harder to pull off, especially without a fee. (MAN I wish Grandma G was in town!)

I'm starting to wonder if hardcore training should be post-poned. You know, until my children sleep through the night (no, neither one of them does) or until I'm not constantly being drained by nourishing a 22 lb infant with my body. After all, the mastitis is directly related to exhaustion. Or maybe I should wait until the kids are in school, so I don't have to worry about finding someone to watch them (dad and I work opposite schedules, we are hardly in the same place at the same time). Will I be able to run the marathon in October? Of course. But am I looking to achieve too much too soon, taking on such an intense plan and shooting for a Boston qualifying time?

Or am I using motherhood as an excuse?

One of my real life running idols is a mother of three little ones, one of them being under two, still nursing, and still not sleeping through the night. She is not a "paid to train" elite, and holds a full time job, on top of motherhood. Instead of complaining like I do, this marathon mom goes for wee-hour of the morning training runs with the jog stroller when the baby decides to boycott sleep, and just pulled off her first sub 3 hour marathon in February. AMAZING. I always wonder how she does it, but the truth is, she just does it. Really, there seems to be no secret other than dedication.

So I wonder if the answer to my predicament, is to simply just do it. Either you've got it or you don't, right?

Maybe I'm just having a bad day, a month of being sick taking it's toll emotionally, and tomorrow I'll have my "go get'em" attitude back. Or, maybe for once I'm being realistic. Running moms (and dads), I would love to hear your thoughts on this one.